Let's take a look at boundaries as a container. When I am in a new environment, at first the boundaries are stringent. They appear to be punitive like correcting a new behavior. As my mastery of the environment takes shape, I begin to realize that the rules of engagement are in place. I am warming up to a new way of being.
We go from punitive to appreciation, from appreciation to artistry, from artistry to belonging, relationship, and intimacy. We can have this experience across the board. When I feel the separation, I am separate from and reaching out towards. If I approach the experience from, “I am that and that is me,” then I can relate to.
If I treat something as inanimate then I am bound by those characteristics. When I approach something with a higher level of respect and relationship, I can do more because I can find greater function. For example: A violin in my hands feels antiquated but to the maestro, who has studied that particular instrument, he is aware of all the subtle qualities.
A sense of belonging can be achieved when I feel a sense of provision and protection. Care, love and the working of events in a symbiotic way. If I am expecting to be cared for, I will begin to identify with those aspects of life that look and feel a that way. How I approach a task, changes how I can experience it. I can take something as intangible as a vast universe and personalize it. I clothe it in language and story. I custom fit my experience to my dreams and desires. The God of my heart feels different than a distant and cold experience.